May 29th

Today was a really rough day. I woke up with horrible pains in my stomach. It basically paralyzed me most of the day. Lucas got me some breakfast in bed so I could take some pain medicine. I layed in bed and caught up on my shows...which was nice but sucked because I have so much on my "To Do List". Then I went to work at Bubbas at 4pm. I was feeling better but stilled felt crippled. I closed down the restaurant. I had a house salad and some shrimp...it tore my stomach up. My stomach is hard and bloated. I feel defeated again today but I am not going to get upset. I decided that I am going to laugh and smile about it right now and come to terms with it...for at least a few minutes:).

I do have to admit I feel relived climbing into my warm bed and writing in my blog. Something about the comfort my bed and home give me. For this, I am grateful! Tomorrow I working a double at Bubbas. (YAY MONEY). I am trying to save alittle money to maybe get my hair dyed back blonde. Monday I have off though. I am very excited for this. I might go boating with Jenny (her and Jacob, her boyfriend) own a few rafts and kayaks. I also have to get ready for student/teacher conferenced that are this week. The weather had been amazing! SUNNY AND WARM! My face is tan! Yesterday, Lucas and I went and played tennis for awhile. I was so happy to feel good enough to go out and be active. I feel so lucky to have that energy somedays!

Anyways, hope all is well with you. I love you guys. Good night.

Love Love Love,
Chanell Belle

May 27th

SO I have been meat free for 3 days and haven't had a flair up!!! Still some sharp pains that make me want to hurl and roll over and die. I started taking some homeopathic stuff for abdominal pain today. We will see how that works. Still trying to work with insurance and mail order for the shots. Will let you know the price when I know more. Thank you for the check. :) I appreciate it. I called Nancy today! She said she would know more next week and that she was working on discount.

Been really busy with work. Both of my co teachers are leaving the classroom. It is really bittersweet. I am happy for them. Jenny took a higher position at Little Red and Kimberly is going to school in Boulder. So I am busy trying to do work interviews and hire someone for the room. It is really sad for me because both of them have become my bestest friends here! But happy at the same time. Got a promotion at work. I am now the classroom administrator.

Weather has been beautiful here. 70 and sunny. Hope all is well with you two. Love you and can't wait to see you in less than a month!

May 18th

Hi Mom and Dad. I have decided to start a blog to tell you how I am feeling. And since we are all so busy to inform you on my everyday life. Some of these blogs might be positive and some i might cry in as I write. Here is go. Over the past year it has become hard to talk about my physical illnes and my mental illness. I find it hard to exoress my feelings. Instead I have become short and frustrated. The girl that used to love talking about anything, especially herself now HATES talking. I get the question every day, "how are you feeling?" Whether it be by one of you, Lucas, a friend, a co worker, or my boss. I am blessed to be loved by so many and am extremely thankful for all of the people in my life. Especially you guys and Lucas.

Today was a challenging day in so many ways. Most days I wake up and start my day by feeling defeated. I put a smile on my face but my pants don't fit. I can't stand the 35 pounds i've gained in a year. Not to mention that I still get bloated quite a bit. Today I had sharp pains all through my abdomen. A few times it took my breath away. I went to pick up my shots that the doctor said the insurance pre authorized. But the pharamacy said my insurance wont cover it. it's 2400 dollars. Here goes another half day dealing with my health and money problems. On the phone with my insurance, the doctors, and the pharmacy. 3 hours later and still no answers. I had to pay over 100 dollars for some pain medicine. Now I am literally broke after paying my car payment, 2 student loans, medical bill payment plan, etc. Then I was leaving work and got pulled over for expired tags. The police officer said I need to change over my license plate and license to Colorado. He was about to give me a ticket but decided not to... I thanked him 10 times but I really wanted to say, "Thanks officer more than you know, because I have no money and I can't deal with much more." I cried all the way home. Wiped my tears and put a smile on and walked through the door. Was feeling okay health wise and then i ate dinner which was beef faijitas. Took a shower and now I am 4 months pregnant. Ready to go to bed and decided to listen to Lucas and start a blog to let you know how I am feeling. Since I suck at talking about it. I'm sorry if this was really depressing but as I end this blog, I find that it was quite thearptic for me. Going to bed, praying for a better tomorrow...after all that is all I can do. Today I feel overwhelmed, defeated, still sick, and not beauitful.

I love you. Night.